13 July 2010

Mind Game

I can't have all I want,
I know that very well - Yet
I want to have,
What I can't have!
What a strange mind,
That I have!

Smoking is bad,
I know that.
Many drugs are bad,
I know that.
Many things are bad,
I know that too.
So I want to quit;
But I can't quit!
My mind wants to quit - And
Doesn't want to quit!
Who controls my mind!?! - Is
Not a big question!?!

But how can I quit?
If I quit for a day – Or
Even reduce a bit,
I can treat myself,
With something good!
When I need control,
I bribe myself!
When I have to work hard,
I motivate myself!
My mind bribes itself!
My mind motivates itself!
As if...
It doesn't know itself!

I have no idea,
How I control - And
How I coordinate,
Hundreds of my muscles,
To balance myself - And
To move my legs – Yet
I think...
I walk consciously!

A monkey can do it,
A pocket calculator can do it,
But I can't remember,
A seven digit number,
In short-term memory!
I have no idea,
Where I store - And
How I store - Or
How I get back,
My short-term memory – Or
Long-term memory – Yet
I think...
I remember consciously!

I've just a vague idea,
How I choose my words,
With appropriate meaning;
How I arrange my words,
With proper grammar;
How I arrange my sentences,
With meaningful order – Yet
I think...
I speak consciously!

Damage in my spinal cord,
Would paralyze my body;
Damage in my visual cortex,
Would impair my vision;
Damage in my auditory cortex,
Would impair my hearing;
Damage in my somatosensory system,
Would impair my sense of touch;
Damage in my olfactory system,
Would impair my sense of smell...
Yet other brain damage,
Would disrupt my...
Moods and emotions, wants and desires,
Level of pain, level of awareness,
Sense of orientation, sense of time...
Yet other brain damages,
Would impair my...
Word recognition, face recognition,
Social skills, abstract thinking,
Verbal skills, non-verbal skills,
Decision making, sense making,
Understanding ability, expressing ability,
Remembering ability, controlling ability...
When everything works fine,
I think...
I have freewill!

I never smoke or take any drugs. This is just an objective analysis of human condition from subjective angle.